a new lil’ poem
a post from adam: i have been wanting some feedback on some of my latest poetry, but have had trouble finishing projects. i am not sure this poem is yet completed, but here it is in its current form…
it’s also worth noting that one of the similes that appears in this poem came from a journal entry that appeared on this website…enjoy.
Lapham Peak 3.22.08
for scott
Today we hiked six miles from our parked car
and paused. Here was the shaded, quiet grove.
I said out loud of the tree-stuck snow,
it has been painted on as elegant
as eyliner. You said, yes. And as the last
of last night’s make-up rolled down her cheek bones,
how it felt a secret had been told!
We lingered there, full eyed at the charm
of wet limbs nodding like horses, white scarves
unraveling as manes at full gallop,
and snow dust unsettled from shadow
as the pounding hoof will scatter sand.
Do we not long for these cobwebbed lands,
Beyond the sterile grip of human sorrow?
Wild and free as cowboys, as the snow,
dirty as stray dogs, and as triumphant,
we moved at last from this dream in the dark.
i stopped understanding poetry after high school, but i love the simplicity of “it has been painted on as elegant as eyeliner.” sorry i can’t help to critique more, but literally, symbolism, similes and metaphors go over my head like a baseball cap flying off a 7-year-old left fielder on a windy day. wait a minute, wasn’t that a simile? oh bother.