Everyone must be out to get us!

Bobby Posting: It’s a bright, sunshiny Monday morning here in the South. In case it’s not the same where you are, here’s a big dose of “calling out” to alleviate your Case of the Mondays:

I am a huge Arkansas Razorbacks fan. The rest of my state…is not. As a young Arkansas, you’re naturally taught to believe that the rest of WORLD is out to get us. That’s expected. After all, Arkansas is the smallest state in the south and the smallest state west of the Mississippi in the continental U.S. of A. Of course the Bobby Petrino hiring backlash only confirmed that. That and the fact that every where I go I only hear about the negative contributions of Bill Clinton to our country. So that’s all a given, right? But who knew that there was another large group in the fight to steal our Hog Happiness? And who knew that the biggest enemy to just enjoying Arkansas sports for what it is is sitting there in our backyard? Let’s hop in the Hog-mobile to figure all this out.

hog-car.jpg

Over the weekend, Arkansas stormed to the finals of a natural-disaster plagued SEC tournament. The Hogs made the finals of the tourney in both football and basketball last year before losing to Florida. The Gators ended up winning the national title in both of those sports, so if you’re going to lose the conference championship to some team, they might as well go on to win it all. The crazy part about all of this, is that you wouldn’t know any of this from any Arkansas fans. For some reason they stumble around the state like the biggest kicked puppy in the history of sports. Granted, I’ve been living in different parts of the country for some time now, so the pain and agony that they’ve apparently collectively felt over these years may be tangible, but people here actually expect our state school to lose. In fact, in the Houston Nutt football-era, they HOPED for the team to lose! But that’s a whole different story.

I am a sports-a-holic. I love it and talk it and sleep it and would eat it if not for the fact that Wheaties really have no flavor. I even worked in the sports business as a TV reporter and anchor for a year and a half. But I draw the line with sports at the word sport:

sport [spawrt, spohrt] Pronunciation Keynoun “diversion; recreation; pleasant pastime.”

Watching a Razorbacks game with friends and family from home can be a particularly painful experience. There’s more mumbling than Slingblade and more raw emotions than Jane Austen ever felt. There’s a whole lot of, “Watch this…they’re about to screw up again!” Even more of, “Why does he do that EVERY time?” And of course, a healthy dose of, “I can’t even watch them play.” Is it the middle child in me screaming out or can’t we all just sit back and watch some athletes try as hard as they can to win a GAME!

Anyway, I’ll get off my high horse and start packing now. I’m leaving for God’s Country at 19:00 hours CST and so far the duffel bag is looking pretty empty! Hopefully my next post will be filled with thoughts that have been clarified thru the rare air of the high heavens. Enjoy that Monday!

p.s. Oh yeah…how in the world did Arkansas lose that game yesterday? What were they thinking? Were they even trying? I mean the Georgia bulldogs were 4-12 in the SEC in the regular season. Throw in the fact that it was their 4th game in 3 days, their 3rd in practically 24 hours, and the Hogs should have run the Dogs out of the gym! I sat there screaming at my TV, “Watch this…they’re about to screw up again!” “Why does he do that EVERY time?” and “I can’t even watch them play.”

Congratulations on making the NCAA tournament, Arkansas! Your reward? Getting to play an Indiana team with a chip on its shoulders the size of the Rockies and, oh yeah, one of the best freshman in the history of the sport! And, oh by the way, if you somehow take down the Hoosiers, you get to play the North Carolina Tarheels (the #1 seed in the overall tournament!) in Charlotte, North Carolina. That’s like taking on Russell Crowe right there inside the Coliseum. Good luck with that! It sure feels like America is just against Arkansas! Everyone must be out to get us!

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