I am a self proclaimed Momma’s boy. That being said, it had been a while since I had the distinct pleasure of talking to my mom. So the other night I had to catch her up on an entire weeks worth of life. I filled her in on everything from my love life, to my health, to my social life and even on the crazy God stories that only an insane person would believe unless they actually saw it happen. The most beautiful part of this story is that my Mom and I come from two very different perspectives on life, religion, politics, ideas on how the world operates, passions and desires, etc. We both, however, care so deeply about each other that we want to be able to share everything that is going on in our lives. This conversation with my mother created a deep sense of gratitude inside of me. How is it that the same boy who came home from bible camp telling his parents they needed to know God or they would go to hell is now able to have deep conversations about all aspects of life?
A brief plea of defense for myself: I have since begged for my parent’s forgiveness for being such a horrible example of God’s love to them and have promised to let them seek and know God on their timing and in their own way. A quick look at our culture’s view on Christianity, however, proves that this plea does not go nearly far enough. So I expand this plea to the rest of my non-Christian friends:
To all non-Christians who may potentially read this blog,
I am sorry. I apologize for being judgmental and condescending. I apologize for trying to hold you to standards that I don’t uphold myself. I am sorry for all of the ways that we fail: for claiming to love the poor and yet giving so little, for claiming to love the oppressed and being so silent, for claiming to love the sick and recoiling in fear and disgust. I apologize for expecting unfaltering faith without a glimpse of God when I continue to doubt even after seeing miracles and angles. I am sorry for not recognizing that faith is a process and not just a box checked yes, no, maybe later.
I am sorry.
That being said, I love the church. I love that God chose to save the sick and not the healthy. I love that God created the church out of the outcast and the down trodden, the murderers and adulterers, the spiritually ignorant, the powerless and the poor. The only strength we can hope to have is that of humility and I pray that we don’t lose that.