I did a little rethinking of my past few posts recently. From my \”funeral\” post to my \”top 5 influential albums\” to me \”checking\” playing a live show off my bucket list, they all connected. Like little puzzle pieces, each post intersected with the other (unknowingly at the time) to create a much larger picture.
In \”My Legacy\” I wrote about my desire to see all of my friends and family at one time. Next I wrote a post on the impact music had made in my life and the albums that created that foundation, ending with an album by J. Tillman. The interesting part about that artist was that he played a large role in me picking up my own guitar again and writing music myself. Finally in \”Check That One Off\” I wrote about playing my very own live show. But simply playing music wasn\’t what brought satisfaction. In fact, standing up and \”performing\” felt a bit lonely.
But looking out at the crowd while I was singing, and seeing my parents and in-laws sharing a table, my two sisters and their guys in one booth, students from our ministry in the front row, friends since childhood in the back, and people that have been there at so many other times scattered throughout…a lightbulb went off. This is what I was hoping to somehow get a glance at if I could have peeked down at my funeral one day. This very scene that was in front of me right now. This was it. The best part about it though, was that I was still alive and breathing! I couldn\’t help but smile a bit and keep on singing. I know I\’ll play another show sometime down the road. I\’m not sure if it\’ll be anything regular or if I\’ll really seek out too many opportunities. But when I do finally play, I\’ll get on that phone and invite everyone I know, because the greatest satisfaction was the culmination of all these parts coming together to create a well felt joy and contentment deep within.
Just so you believe it actually happened, here\’s a video my older sister took (always the documentarian) of one of my favorite songs, \”Trains and Planes\”. It\’s actually the first song I wrote in this whole rebirth of my own songwriting. It\’s the one that got the whole train rolling, so to speak, so it\’s rather fitting that this is the one she filmed.